I was childish.

I was being childish, i agree much. One thing you should really know, i appreciate how YOU remember whatever things that we've been through together. I appreciate how you appreciate me. Things are just now RIGHT this few days. Or maybe I must say, ever since some fairytale started. I'm not saying it's not right. But i'll be honest, i will NEVER speak or somehow sound in an unfriendly manner to my buddy over a girl. I know how girlfriends mean to us. But it's just wrong because, friends has no endings. You've made history by ending one. I don't blame you too. It all comes back to one thing, my childish acts. I agree, but how did i felt ? Really embarassed when all her friends fire me when they saw your message to her. It was like she's saying " hey , my boyfriend's on my side. so what if you're his friend? i won (: " ohh boy , i don't like that . But on the other side of my mind, i started thinking. Yes, i was in the wrong somehow for asking more than once. Uhh, nevermind that.

& speaking of that day i went to Bob house, and the rest was lazy to came out from the house. That didn't stop me, because i made a promise. I know how would you feel if no one turn up outside school. I thought that even me one person, could make a difference. Oh, don't go like " Shawn, stop the bullshit ". You're are warmly welcomed to survey, have I done that for anyone in my life? I would probably go like " aiya, he know how to come one lah. So near only ". I respected you as my friend. a Good friend. Take note. I just don't understand why ending this can solve the problem. I don't want to end anything. I don't like endings, not even happy endings. Something's for sure, i owe you an apology. No, you don't owe me any. I don't mind being on the losing side. But without you as my buddy, i already am, on the losing side. You were the one always listening back then. Now who's going to? I know how busy can you be. Whenever a convo starts between you and me. It wouldn't even last for 1 single minute. Sadly, that's true. I don't mind that, i respect how busy you are, and your personal life, i cannot stop you.

I woke up from the dark side. Who got me into the bright side? you. Honestly, Mum's telling me who i can really hang on to. or Who i can really trust as a true friend. She said, You. until this very moment. She's asking me to follow you to camps. and so forth. I told her " yeah, he's one good friend. but he's always busy , mum ". Afterall, i still blame myself. I just couldn't get the right time to talk to you. and Now this. I got myself into this shit. I'm crawling back up. No matter what. It might take time, but yeah I won't hesitate waiting. I won't stop. I know how important this relationship can mean to you. But hey, me and you, priceless. I sincerely tell you, I hate to end this. In other words, I need you as MY friend. I hope you read this. I hope you get what i'm trying to say. I'm getting late for badminton but i'm delaying my mum. I want to get this over with. This post. I want to let you know. How much this friendship means to me. I want to put the childish acts away, if it gets me back to your friends list. I hate being a friendster icon, being deleted . I don't want that. Sincerely, I don't care what people think right now, thinking I'm gay or whatsoever. I don't care. Its just for you.

I'll let you think bout it. I hope my words crawled into your heart, and stay there. But if you still decided to stay like this, just a friendly reminder, I'm still here for you. till the day that i leave this world. (: you take care. you've been a true friend, a nice and helpful one. and I have to say this, you've been great. Thanks for everything.

Ps. I hope i'll get to see you on my birthday.

Regards,
Shawn.